I Must Live With Creatures Only
from Kokonopia, Unlimited!

Notes:
Kokonopia, Unlimited! is a one-act operetta ridiculously referencing Gilbert & Sullivan but with a cast that includes Tarzan, Jane, a monkey and Groucho Marx. Here Tarzan and Jane have fallen in love, but Jane—a veterinarian sworn to care only for animals and not any man—declares their love is doomed.


          JANE
I must live with creatures only

          TARZAN
I must die, then, or live lonely

          JANE
Care for none but beasts unthinking

          TARZAN
Such am I when I’ve been drinking

          JANE
Throughout the world, the sea and sky
Nature has no right to cry
For nothing’s so sorrowful as I!

          BOTH
The whippoorwills wax woeful
     With a warbling, wistful song
While we wallow with the knowledge
     Winter’s weary wait is long.
Why should whippoorwills be wide awake
     With such insomnia
When our sorrows are the sadder,
     Lackaday, Fa la la!

          ENSEMBLE
Fa la la! (etc.)

          TARZAN
Loving man is not misguided

          JANE
’Twould be selfish, I’ve decided

          TARZAN
Love between us would be vaster

          JANE
Loving you would be disaster

          TARZAN
Throughout the world, the sea and sky
Nature has no right to cry
For nothing’s so sorrowful as I!

          BOTH
Ah, wherefore weeps the willow
     While we weep with wails of woe
For the willow wakes a-wafting
     Where the westward winds will blow.
What a waste for willows wooed by winds
     To weep their wands away
When our worries are the worser,
     Fa la la, Lackaday!

          ENSEMBLE
Lackaday! (etc.)

          TARZAN
Torture, torment, woeful, weary

          JANE
Doom, disaster, dreadful, dreary

          TARZAN
Desolation does dismay so.

          JANE
You’re unhappy?

          TARZAN
You could say so!

          BOTH
Throughout the world, the sky and sea
Whatever the catastrophe
There’s nothing’s so sorrowful as we!

The worm and walrus whimper,
     Warthog, wolf and weasel cry
While a wittle, whiskered wabbit
     Waves a water-logged lily
Whining willow willow waly
     And Wee Willie Winkie, too,
With a Walla Walla, Washington
     And Scooby-dooby-doo!

          ENSEMBLE
Scooby-doo! (etc.)