Drop Your Drawers

Notes:
An ersatz English Music Hall number. Often performed in a simplified version at The Adventurers Club, Walt Disney World, Florida.

Play clip:



Major Maxwell Muffin found himself in quite a stew—
The enemy had trapped him all around.
In such a dire predicament, whatever could he do?
What possible solution could be found?
     Hopelessly outnumbered,
     His odds but one in ten,
Major Muffin bravely called these orders to his men:

     CHORUS
     Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
     I’ll drop mine if you’ll drop yours!
     Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
     Down below your knees!

     Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
     That’s the way to open doors!
     Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers!
     Whoops! I feel a breeze!

Little Lucy Lovekins was the fairest of the fair
And all the men in town desired her hand.
They’d gather at her doorstep from nearly ev’rywhere,
And Lucy thought each one of them was grand.
     “Please darling, choose among us!”
     They would plead in one, loud voice.
So Lucy asked a favour that would help her make a choice:

     CHORUS Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers! (etc.)

     It really doesn’t matter
     Which direction that you face;
     The lowering of lingerie
     Works well in either case!

Wicked William Wigglestick had lived a life of sin
And now he stood at Heaven’s pearly gate.
Saint Peter checked the records, and refused to let him in,
For Bill had earned a very different fate!
     “O horror!” cried poor Willie,
     “Pray not eternal fire!”
’Twas then he heard the singing of the sweet angelic choir:

     CHORUS Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers! (etc.)

     And so if mere existence
     Is too much for you to bear,
     Forget about existence;
     Rather bare your derrière!

     CHORUS Drop your drawers! Drop your drawers! (etc.)